Funny Valentine

"DOJYAAA~ ~N!"

- Funny Valentine's catchphrase

Funny Valentine is the main antagonist of Part VII: Steel Ball Run and the 23rd president of the United States in the Steel Ball Run universe. He is a former soldier, discharged after being tortured during a war where he found the saint's heart.

Steel Ball Run
Valentine first appears riding on a train with Stephen Steel, where it is revealed that he is using the race to collect the scattered remains of Jesus Christ from across the United States.

Appearance/Personality
Originally, he is introduced as an old, stout man. After absorbing the torso of the saint, he gains a large muscular build and a more handsome appearance, possibly by using his stand ability to switch places with a more handsome version of himself from another dimension. He will attain the corpse parts by any means, sending assassins to eliminate Gyro for the purpose of retrieving the Saint's body.

Youth
When the President was till a child, his father went to war, but never came back. One day however, a soldier came to his house and told him that his father was captured by the enemies. In order not to betray his country, the President's father committed suicide. The only thing he gave back was a handkerchief to his son. This inspired the President to wanting to become a patriot to his country and wanting to make it the most powerful, and so became who he is now.

He and Stephen Steel orchestrated the Steel Ball Run in order to recover the parts of the corpse to gain masspower. In his pursuits, he's sent out people to interfere with the race to gain the corpse parts through any means.

While the race was going on, he discovers a traitor in his ranks which he first believed to be Mountain Tim, then his wife before finding the real traitor, Lucy Steel (disguised as Scarlet).

By obtaining the corpse, the President, being a patriot, wishes to use it's power to bring a better future to America by merging his stand and the corpse's power to deflect all misfortunes befalling on his country to other foreign countries.

Steel Ball Run Race
The Steel Ball Run race was indeed a ploy set up by Valentine and down-on-his-luck promoter, Stephen Steel to scope through the United States to get the Corpse Parts which were rumored to have life changing power. As he hosted and monitored the event, he'd send out people of his choosing to make sure things didn't go haywire in the process while at the same time trying to find pieces of the corpse parts themselves.

A lot of his subordinates were also stand users such as Blackmore, Mike O. and Diego Brando.

Receiving the Corpse Part
Once learning that the Corpse parts were embedded within Lucy, he had her live with him in hopes to take it out. Using Lucy's Wall with his own stand, he found a way to protect himself from both Johnny and Gyro before killing Gyro.

Death(s)
After being hit by Tusk ACT 4, he found himself being in the Spin and every time he'd jump to another dimension, he'd find himself in a hole in the ground as a result, he attempted to bribe his way away from this by offering Johnny a brand new Gyro Zeppeli (whom he shot and killed prior) in return for Johnny ending the Spin.

After an explanation of how he wanted to use the Corpse parts for the right reason, he gave Johnny the spray that Hot Pants used (mentioning that she might be dead as well so the spray's for a "Hot Pants" in another dimension), he found himself at a standstill before Johnny gave him a final challenge to prove his intent to not betray him once the Spin was cancelled.

Johnny tossed Valentine's empty pistol to his side and challenged him to pick it up, suspecting that Valentine had brought a pistol back with him from an alternative dimension to attack him with. This suspicion proved correct, and knowing that if he picked up the pistol it would merge with the one from the alternative dimension and reveal his intention to betray Johnny, he hesitated for a moment before drawing his weapon and attacking Johnny, who in turn shot back at him.

The gunfight resulted in the final death of the president.

Stand
See Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

When Lucy developed a stand, for some reason he could use her Dimensional Wall to protect himself from others. This protection combined with the dimensional power of his own stand made him nearly invincible.

Trivia

 * Funny Valentine has a habit of shotgunning beer, much like Jotaro does during his introduction in Stardust Crusaders.
 * According to his wife, he makes no sound when he walks, and he can even play the mandolin using his feet, simply dancing on it.
 * The real 23rd U.S. president was Benjamin Harrison. Interestingly, there is exactly a one month's difference between their birthdays (Harrison's was August 20th, and Valentine's is September 20th). Unlike Harrison, however, Valentine's disappearance from the public eye at the end of the race earned him high approval ratings, said to have been as high as 91%.
 * He has numerous scars on his back which are traces of when he was tortured during war. The scars resemble the Stars and Stripes.
 * The scene during which Funny receives his dead father's handkerchief is a direct reference to the 1994 movie Pulp Fiction. In the movie, a young Butch and his mother is visited by a the Vietnam veteran Captain Koons, who fought with Butch's father. Butch's father was captured and held in a POW camp, and he did everything in his power to hide a gold watch (a family heirloom and symbol of patriotism) from his captors until he died of dysentery. Araki even used some of the same shots from the scene in the manga.