Funny Valentine

"My heart and actions are utterly unclouded. They are all those of "Justice"."

- Funny Valentine, SBR Chapter 89

Funny Valentine (ファニー・ヴァレンタイン) is the main antagonist of Part VII: Steel Ball Run.

Finding the Corpse's Heart during his service in the American Civil War, Valentine goes on to become the 23rd President of the United States.

Appearance
Valentine adopts two main appearances, differing greatly in build. He is introduced as an old, stout, overweight man.

After absorbing the torso of the saint, Valentine gains a fit, muscular build and a more handsome appearance (possibly by using his Stand ability to switch places with a more handsome and muscular version of himself from another dimension).

After this, it is revealed that spanning his back, Valentine bears deep scars; in a pattern resembling that of flag of the United States.

He consistently wears long, light hair, curling at its ends into a number of thick, well-defined rings.

He also continues to wear a smooth, uniform outfit, including an overcoat closed to the end of his torso.

Personality
Ruthlessly determined, Valentine will use any means to attain the Corpse Parts; militaristically sending many assassins after his competitors; whom he does not hesitate to kill if they fail (e.g. Axl Ro).

Valentine's ultimate goal in obtaining the Corpse is to cement the political supremacy of his country and himself. He is inspired in part by the patriotism explained to him in his youth as the reason for his father's resilience during his capture and torture in an earlier war.

He is infatuated with Lucy Steel for her "cute" demeanor and personality; ambivalent towards his wife, Scarlet.

Abilities
Valentine's Stand and spirit, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (or D4C), enables him access at any time to any number of alternate worlds/universes/dimensions; where if desired he may swap bodies with his counterparts, affording him a pseudo-immortality.

When Lucy develops Ticket To Ride, Valentine may utilize a protective wall of light emanating from her, bolstering his defense further still; which complementary ability he names "D4C - Love Train".

According to his wife, he makes no sound when he walks, and he can even play the mandolin using his feet, simply dancing on it.

Youth
When the President was a child, his father went to war, and never came back.

One day, a soldier came to his house and told him that his father was captured by the enemy; and that after resisting intense torture, in order not to betray his country, he committed suicide. He retained a handkerchief (horrifically, behind his eye); which the soldier gave to Valentine.

American Civil War
While training, Valentine's company perished in a desert. Valentine himself, exhausted, fell onto the site of the Corpse's Heart; when his life was saved, and he inferred the existence of a complete Corpse.

At some point later, he was captured by the enemy and brutally whipped; leaving scars spanning his back (in a pattern resembling that of the flag of the United States).

Steel Ball Run
The Steel Ball Run race is a plot set up by Valentine and the down-on-his-luck promoter, Stephen Steel to scope through the United States to get the Corpse Parts which were rumored to have life changing power. As he hosted and monitored the event, he'd send out people of his choosing to make sure things didn't go haywire in the process while at the same time trying to find pieces of the corpse parts themselves.

By obtaining the corpse, the President, being a patriot, wishes to use its power to bring a better future to America by merging his stand and the corpse's power to deflect all misfortunes befalling on his country to other foreign countries.

During the Race, Valentine employs many assassins to kill both Gyro Zeppeli and Johnny Joestar, even to have some participate in the race to get close to the duo. The majority of his subordinates are Stand users; such as Blackmore, Mike O. and Diego Brando.

Valentine discovers a traitor in his ranks, which he first believed to be Mountain Tim, then his wife; before finding the real traitor, Lucy Steel (disguised as Scarlet).

Receiving the Corpse
Once learning that the Corpse parts were embedded within Lucy, he had her live with him, knowing that she was disguised as his wife, Scarlet. In the hopes of taking them out of her when the time was right.

In Philadelphia
After seeing Lucy for what she truly is, he holds her until the Corpse's power is at its fullest. He hires Disco to stall Gyro so he could kill Johnny himself. Using Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, He sends both Diego Brando and Wekapipo (both have since defected from Valentine's employ) to alternate dimensions to shoot Johnny and eliminate the three at once. He fights Wekapipo and Diego with the odds in his favor, then Diego uses Scary Monster to guide Johnny to safety and shoot Valentine. However, The President uses his stand to replace his dying body.

He takes off in a train to protect Lucy Steel from Diego and Hot Pants, while Ticket to Ride takes form. He makes several clones to fight off the two but is nearly killed by Diego. After fighting and killing Diego, Lucy's Stand takes form and powers up D4C. He quickly uses it to kill Hot Pants and prepares to fight Gyro and Johnny.

Atlantic Ocean
When Gyro and Johnny finally shows up to confront the president, Valentine shows the extent of his new ability. With Valentine sending everything that was intended to kill him to another part of the world, killing someone else. However, Gyro tells Johnny that it is time for "Lesson 5", meaning the use of the Super Spin. As Gyro prepares for the Super Spin, Valentine shoots him in a non-lethal spot. However, with the effects of D4C-Love Train, the wound travels up his body towards a more lethal spot. Gyro, then summons Ball Breaker, passing through the dimensional barrier, accelerating the age of half of Valentine's face. As the wound travels up Gyro's body, he shoots Ball Breaker a second time, seemingly killing Valentine. However, Valentine was turned into a old man due to the second attack, after recovering, he finally manages to kill Gyro.

After killing Gyro, Johnny relentlessly tries to do anything possible to even harm Valentine, but to no avail. Valentine then shoots Johnny's horse, Slow Dancer, to eliminate the chance to see the Super Spin. In a last ditch effort, Johnny uses one of Gyro's steel balls to heal his horse which kicks him into the air, activating Tusk Act 4.

Death(s)
After being hit by Tusk ACT 4, he found himself subjected to the Spin, which drove him into a hole in the ground every time he jumped to another dimension. He attempted to bribe his way away from this by offering Johnny a brand new Gyro Zeppeli, whom he shot and killed prior, in return for Johnny ending the Spin. Johnny refuses, stating that even a Gyro from another dimension would not be the same Gyro as the one he had adventured with.

After an explanation of how he wanted to use the Corpse parts for the right reason, he gave Johnny the spray that Hot Pants used, mentioning the possibility of her death as well, so the spray is for a Hot Pants in another dimension. Johnny, though gradually trusting the president, tossed Valentine's empty pistol to his side and challenged him to pick it up, harboring a suspicion that Valentine had brought a pistol back with him from an alternative dimension to attack him with. The suspicion proved correct, and knowing that if he picked up the pistol it would merge with the one from the alternative dimension and reveal his intention to betray Johnny, he hesitated for a moment, reaffirming his personal sense of justice before drawing his weapon and shooting Johnny, who in turn shot back at him. The gunfight resulted in the final death of the president.

At the conclusion of Steel Ball Run, is is mentioned that despite Valentine's disappearance from the public eye at the end of the race, he attained approval ratings as high as 91%.

All-Star Battle (PS3)
Valentine is a playable character in All Star Battle (PS3), he was the last standard character confirmed for the game, alongside Kosaku Kawajiri. He's the only playable villian from PART VII.

He has the lowest stamina in the game, reflecting his many "deaths" throughout Part 7.

His moveset naturally revolves around his use of D4C's dimensional abilities. One move allows him to temporarily hide within another dimension (represented by him hiding within a flag that hovers flatly in midair.) One special has him fire a revolver multiple times, claiming it to be self-defense.

Valentine is one of three characters who can pick up the Corpse Parts scattered around the battlefield when in play. Upon obtaining all three, Valentine will not only obtain a significant defense buff, but will also obtain D4C- Love Train, which renders him immune to several non-HHA projectile attacks. Also, when D4C-Love Train is activated, all the damage Valentine takes is reduced by 75%.

He has a special healing ability performed via a quarter-circle backward motion and pressing all attack buttons, so long as the player has all three Corpse Parts and three HH Gauge stocks. He will swap places with a Valentine from another dimension, which refills his health bar. The drawback of this move, however, is that he loses all the Corpse Parts he has on him at current as well as disabling his HH Gauge for the entire match. If he is struck by Kosaku-Kira's GHA after having used this move successfully, Valentine's HH gauge will be restored once time has looped backward.

His HHA is a counter move. He performs his famous "DOJYAAA~N!" motion complete with shrug. When struck during this pose, he will pull his victim down to another dimension where several Valentines assail the victim.

His GHA has him declaring his next attack is something the opponent should be honored to receive. He drapes a flag over his victim (reminiscent of a military funeral ceremony), pulling them into another dimension. The victim encounters their alternate dimension doppelganger and the both of them slam into each other and disintegrate in a shower of Menger Sponges as per the rules of D4C.

Valentine triggers unique animations when hit by Johnny and Gyro's GHAs respectively. For Johnny's, Valentine vainly throws up D4C's Love Train to defend himself only for Johnny's Tusk Act 4 to rip it open and thrash Valentine's Stand, while whispering heartfelt thanks to Gyro and striking Valentine down with the Super Spin. For Gyro's, Valentine activates Love Train only for Ball Breaker to tear through it. Ball Breaker and Gyro run straight past Valentine, whilst the latter is swiftly struck down by the residual energies of the Super Spin left in Gyro's wake.

If both players choose Valentine in the English version, during the dialogue before the fight, the first Valentine will provoke saying "Get ready for amber waves of pain!", while the second Valentine will say "Hello me. Meet the REAL me" (both phrases are part of the song "Sweating Bullets" by the band Megadeth)

Valentine possess an alternate costume, being the attire he used during his first appearance (a more classic Mr.President suit like). For the western version his stand name was simply shorted to "D4C".

Trivia

 * The concept for Valentine's character derives from Araki's interest in a fighting President, after watching the movie, Independence Day.
 * Funny Valentine demonstrates the ability to pierce and shotgun a can of beer; like Jotaro at his introduction in Stardust Crusaders.
 * Valentine's catchphrase "Dojyaaan!" literally means "Tada!" in Japanese.
 * The scene during which Funny receives his dead father's handkerchief appears to reference the 1994 film Pulp Fiction. In the movie, a young Butch and his mother is visited by a the Vietnam veteran Captain Koons, who fought with Butch's father. Butch's father was captured and held in a POW camp, and he did everything in his power to hide a gold watch (a family heirloom and symbol of patriotism) from his captors until he died of dysentery. Araki even used some of the same shots from the scene in the manga.
 * The real 23rd U.S. president was Benjamin Harrison. Interestingly, there is exactly one month's difference between their birthdays (Harrison's was August 20th, and Valentine's is September 20th).