Author's note: Hello everyone! Cs here & what a ride this story was. I wanted this to be funny with some gripping moments as well so hopefully Y'all enjoy this. This is dedicated to the following users:
@Dictator Red
@LinkSonicMario
@TheGuyWhoMakesAnimeArtOrSomething
& @Holydiver42069
Anyways to the story!
The story of the decade:
Hol Horse & Josuke were sitting on Josuke’s coach playing Street Fighter 2 Turbo on Josuke’s PS3. They were eating Fruit & vegetables because they are delicious & good for u (Eat ur veggies kids.)
But suddenly, When Hol Horse walked into the kitchen, they were no snacks around. No, produce, no chips, not even gum or Ice cream. There was nothing in the kitchen but a half-eaten burrito from taco bell which was being eaten by the local Cockroach who ate Hol Horse’s 5 dollar foot-long from Subway.
“OH, GOD!” Hol Horse yelled which can be heard from Ohio. “THERE’S NO FOOD!! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!”
“What’s going on?” Josuke asked.
“THERE’S NO FOOD! NO BACON, NO FRUIT. EVEN THE VEGETABLES ARE ALL EATEN!” Hol Horse yelled.
“Ok, be quiet. I got an idea”
“Ok Josuke, what are we going to do where there’s no food for our Street Fighter seed run.”
“Simple, Clint Eastwood, there’s a Walmart at the edge of town where they sell Swedish Fish.”
Hol Horse got happy to hear that.
The cowboy grabbed Josuke’s shoulder and looked at him in a great friendly tone.
“Where is this Walmart you speak of?” The cowboy asked.
“Simple.” Josuke replayed. “We need to go outside.”
And so, our daring heroes go outside of Josuke’s house to go on the quest for Swedish Fish.
Morioh was horrible, there was a gigantic riot because everyone ran out of food. Rioters were fighting the police as rocks were being thrown, bullets were shot & everyone was having a horrible time. Hol Horse walked toward the middle of the road, where war was happening, and made a yo mama joke. Everyone was really angry & started chasing Hol Horse for making the most cosmically unfunny joke ever made in the history of anything.
Rocks, tomatoes & bombs were being thrown at Hol Horse as Josuke stared aimlessly wondering why is this happening at all. Hol Horse summoned his stand, The Emperor, and shot at the angry mob. Luckily there was a wall not far away. Hol Horse continued to shoot at the mob, killing some people as Josuke catches up and uses his stand, Crazy Diamond to block off the people trying to kill Hol Horse. Hol Horse & Josuke sit down, both are tired & want to eat some food.
“That was horrible Josuke.”
“Yeah because YOU MADE A YO MAMA JOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ANGRY RIOT!”
“Jeez, Josuke. I thought it was funny.”
“No, it was cosmically UNFUNNY. A sus among us joke would be funnier than that.” Hol Horse & Josuke bickered.
“Ok. I gotta ask. Your not the only one who ran out of food?” Hol Horse questioned.
“Yeah,” Josuke replied “It seems like every place that serves food has mysteriously closed down & now Morioh was in a famine. How could this happen?” The Elvis impersonator continued.
“Maybe it’s because Morioh has now had an epidemic of Giant Cockroaches the size of your hand. I read it on the news & one ate my 5$ footlong. It could be that.” Hol Horse said.
“Wait, there are Giant Cockroaches in this town?” Josuke said.
“Yeah, there everywhere.” Hol Horse stated.
“Pretty weird & nasty,” Josuke stated.
Suddenly a crawling was heard. Weird, disgusting crawling.
Hol Horse turned his head and what the cowboy saw was horrifying!
There, right there in front of them was a Giant Brown Cockroach eating a bag of Skittles.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!” Hol Horse yelled.
The Cockroach hissed back & stood on its hind legs. It was no ordinary giant cockroach, It was a bandana Giant Cockroach as it showed its bandana & pocket knife. It charged at Hol Horse screaming “FOR THE HOMELAND!”
It started stabbing Hol Horse in the arm and blood started coming out. Luckily Hol Horse got the Emperor & aimed for the sky, it flew with amazing precision as it penetrated the Rocahe’s heart. The Bandana Roach held its chest with its front leg as it died.
“I….. must tell you something.” The roach said.
“What is it? You nasty Roach!” Hol Horse said.
“There’s a Taco bell next to ghost alley, It is….. Owned by Senior Roach, they took…. all …….. of the food, except the Swedish fish at the Walmart. You have to get it before he does, or the world will be….” The Giant Bandana Cockroach died before finishing his sentence.
“Well, what do we do now?” Josuke asked for a healing Hol Horse.
“Simple,” Hol Horse said. “We must go to Walmart.”
Hol Horse and Josuke were both walking around, searching for the Walmart that had Swedish Fish. Morioh was a cold place. It looked empty and dismal, the air smelled like nothing as if it was a void. The sound of silence was deafening, and cold and was only penetrated by Cockroaches eating a burger from McDonald's. Hol Horse stared into the alley. Trapped in his thought. Josuke was also looking into the path. Looking for the Walmart. Suddenly, a crawling was heard. It was a Colossal cockroach. It was the size of a car. It made some weird chewing noises as it started to speak.
“How dare you resist the power of our glorious leader Señor Cockroach.” The Roach said.
“Wait, he’s called Señor instead of Senior?” Josuke replied.
“Of course. Guy with great hair. Don’t you know Spanish?” The car-sized cockroach said.
“Well, Im Japanese. How would I know Spanish?” Josuke stated.
The Roach was offended so it slapped Josuke’s face with its front leg. It was painful & enraged Josuke so a fight happened. He summoned his stand, Crazy Diamond, and unleashed a barrage of punches at the giant roach. The armored stand started pummeling the roach. The pummeling was insane. Lefts & rights were hitting the Car sized roach’s face. The roach knew he had to retaliate so he started punching Josuke rapidly with its front legs. Both combatants started pummeling each other. Hol Horse heard of the commotion & turned to see the roach.
He pulled The Emperor and opened fire. The bullet bounced off the Roach heading back to the emperor. The roach turned to Hol Horse and started to speak. Josuke stopped fighting to hear the Roach. His stand still standing in a fighting position.
“You don't know how the Roaches invaded Morioh, do you?” The Cockroach asked.
“Obviously. I only found out earlier today!” Hol Horse stated. The cowboy did not know what the roach is leading to.
“The Roaches lived in this small Japanese town for 600 generations. We came from Texas. After world war 2. We knew that Morioh was the main-stay for food. So we stole all the food many years later from the people. Which leads us to now.”
“Why are you telling us this? Why are you telling us that history?”
“Because we need to stop Señor Cockroach. I think you humans are our only hope. I may be a traitor but it is clear that if I didn't. A roach civil war would happen.”
Hol Horse and Jouske turned to each other looking at each other, and then both of them walked off. The Cossoal Cockroach followed them. Knowing that they would need help for their journey.
Our trio walked around for hours and hours. They eventually found Walmart.
“Well. It’s time to get the Swedish fish!” Hol Horse said.
But suddenly behind the trio, standing with anger in his eye. Was a Colossal Bandana Roach eating a bag of skittles? The Cockroach chewing was horrifying. It smelled like Old Spice, it was the size of a truck. It grabbed its Machete as it said “Hold up. I can't let you get that Swedish Fish.”
The trio looked at the cockroach. Followed by both of them saying “WHO ARE YOU!”
The Colossal Roach got triggered & grabbed a machete the size of a big rig & killed the sliced colossal roach in half. Cockroach guts are flying around the establishment.
“OH, GOD!” Hol Horse yelled. “WHY ARE YOU HERE?”
The bandana Roach simply looked weirdly at Hol Horse. “Oh, you can’t just escape like that.”
Hol Horse did not know what was happening & decided to shoot the roach. The roach’s brain got penetrated & died.
Unfortunately, Hol Horse’s clothes got stained by roach brain matter.
“HOL HORSE?” Josuke yelled.
“WHAT IS IT?” Hol Horse yelled back.
“I found the Swedish Fish!” Josuke said.
Hol Horse ran to Josuke’s location & looked at what was on his hands.
It was a bag of Swedish Fish, in its red & yellow glory, the smell of it hit the duo’s face like those expensive fruity candles you find at Walmart.
“We are so lucky!” Ho Horse said.
But suddenly, a giant crawling was heard. Our duo ran outside to see the commotion, What they saw was horrifying. What they saw was the biggest cockroach or beetle thing in the world. Megalon. The Seatopian guardian. It was rampaging through Morioh.
Hol Horse turned & then saw a Big Rig-sized cockroach with a gigantic mustache wearing a sombrero. at a Taco Bell. The sombrero roach spoke. “Dame el caballo sueco Fish Hol antes de que te dispare con mis poderes de cucaracha.”
Hol Horse somehow understood the roach and grabbed Jouske’s shirt.
“HE’S GONNA SHOOT ME WITH HIS ROACH POWERS!” And so. The final battle would begin with Hol Horse & Josuke vs Megalon & Sénior Roach.
Sénior Roach clapped his hands (Wait, roaches have hands?!) to start off. Hol Horse knew something awful was happening.
Suddenly, a massive amount of crawling was heard. It was awful.
Hol Horse was shaking in his boots because he saw a sus fan-manga with Jotaro being a horse. Josuke turned his head to Hol Horse, then to the sus fan-manga. The sus fan-manga was carried by a giant nerdy cockroach.
His glasses were the size of the sun, and he smelled like weed & body odor. He was pretty nasty.
“You better beware Whole Stallion & Jojo who is inferior to Giorno Giovanna!” The Giant nerd stated like an idiot. “I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD & ANIME ON MY SIDE!”
Josuke then landed on his knees & put his hands on his face in disappointment.
He was dying of cringe. Hol Horse went to Josuke’s side so he can give Josuke a Swedish fish. Josuke then decided to get back up & do a power he never knew he had before. He gained the power to roastbend!
“Oh yeah!” Josuke stated to the goofy ahh nerd roach. “I have the power of raid & killing your mom!!”
The Nerd roach was so surprised by this. That he died.
But then following the nerdy roach. An army of Giant bandana roaches with katanas & pocket knives.
They were surrounded by roaches. The sound of crawling & a roach eating a hamburger was heard as they slowly, but very surely came closer & closer to our duo.
Hol Horse & Josuke then pulled out their stands and started killing the roaches. The roaches were shocked as Crazy Diamond & The Emperor were killing all of them.
The cockroaches were triggered so they ran to the duo with their swords & knives. But due to Josuke & Hol Horse being too good at killing large insects. They were droping like flies.
Several of the roaches' corpses were not in one piece. Roach body parts & guts were spread all over the street, roaches were begging for mercy, but Hol Horse was having none of it. He continued doing roach war crimes.
“EAT THIS YOU NASTY ROACHES!” Hol Horse yelled out while shooting more roaches brutally, he then laughed because he saw someone making a Tenacious D joke. “You guys are pathetic!”
Soon the army of roaches was all dead. All of them were gone. Hol Horse & Josuke now has to go & destroy Sénior Roach but there was a problem. Megalon was still there. The cockroach or beetle kaiju was destroying the city. How are they going to fight a giant monster?
Hol Horse turned to Josuke, his face with a scared & confused tone.
“Josuke…” Hol Horse said, with some dread in his voice. “HOW ARE WE GOING TO FIGHT MEGALON?! He’s too big! And he has drill hands. We can’t beat that! He’s going to end us man!” Hol Horse then looked up at Megalon in terror.
Josuke then turned to the cowboy. He wondered how Hol Horse was so worried.
Sure, there was a massive kaiju sent from an ancient society who’s probably killing tons of people in Morioh. But Godzilla or the Japanese government could handle such a thing. He thought. Josuke then turned & yanked Hol Horse’s arm as a way to get his attention.
“We simply don’t fight Megalon then.”
“WHAT! But Josuke. He’s going to kill us if we don’t do anything!”
“But he’s too big for us. Megalon is a giant kaiju insect set to destroy us all. How can we, two stand users do to a kaiju that can kill us in many ways?”
Hol Horse looked at Josuke with a confused tone. The cowboy then saw Megalon screaming in rage. Then a roar was heard out. Followed by a massive stomping. It was Godzilla. His large blue frame is in front of Megalon.
Then they started fighting. Atomic blasts were shot, and electric bolts were shocking. Naplam bombs were shot out, ruining air quality. Godzilla was here. And he was here is here to punish Megalon for rising. Hol Horse then got shocked. It was hurting. He did not know where it was coming from.
Josuke turned & what he saw was horrifying. Sénior Roach has the same powers as Megalon. The only difference is that he had no drill hands. Josuke did not hesitate or procrastinate, he ran to Hol Horse & saved him from being electrified to death. Hol Horse was shocked. He was in deep pain. Hol Horse felt the electric shocks phasing through his veins.
Hol Horse then got up, and Josuke was holding him in his arms.
“Man, that was very painful. But hey? Nothing a person like me can handle.” Hol Horse said. He was very confident in himself. He knew that he had to be better, he knew that he can’t be a coward now. Not now in an important time like this. He got up from Josuke’s arms & grabbed a katana & pulled out his stand to kill Sénior Roach.
Josuke was shocked. Hol Horse ran towards the cockroach, his eyes cold & filled with confidence.
“There’s no turning back now.” The cowboy whispered. “I don’t even care if I die.”
Sénior Roach was trying to shock Hol Horse but Hol Horse dodged all of it.
Josuke ran to Hol Horse & saw the sombrero-wearing Roach pulling out a revolver & it was pointed at Hol Horse.
“NO!” Josuke yelled out, this can’t be it. One of his best friends was going to end this in a literal kamikaze dash. He was going to end his life in an insane way of terror. Josuke knew it could be over now.
“¡Esto es el fin! ¡Ustedes dos caerán y parroquian!" Sénior Roach stated in rage.
Hol Horse scoffed at this comment.
“Your wrong! My vengeance will still prevail!” Hol Horse stated back.
Both combatants opened fire.
Sénior Roach got a bullet in his chest. Then Hol Horse sliced him in half using the katana.
Sénior Roach knew he was sliced in half, Hol Horse had a bullet hole in his side. But Sénior Roach died first. His body slid away from each other with a gruesome slick sound.
Josuke quickly ran to Hol Horse. The Prince fan was worried for the cowboy’s safety.
Josuke healed his friend. He almost had a heart attack due to what happened.
“You ok?”
“Yeah, Josuke. I’m okay.”
Josuke then hugged Hol Horse tightly. Josuke just had a holy amount of relief that Hol Horse is alright.
“Oh thank God. It’s good that you are safe Hol Horse.” Josuke said. “I thought you could have died!” Josuke said.
Hol Horse then hugged Josuke back.
“I know man. That’s what I call Cowboy Bushido! Cool right?” Hol Horse stated.
Later that day. They headed back to Josuke’s house to play more Street Fighter.
“Man. I'm hungry. Wanna eat that bag of Swedish fish?” Josuke asked.
Hol Horse simply smiled & nodded.
“Yes, Josuke. Let’s eat that delicious bag of Swedish fish.”
THE END
